


Alive And Terrified

by Just_East



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [12]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Crush, Drabble, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 20:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4235049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_East/pseuds/Just_East
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My heart beats fast and it gets hard to breathe when I talk to you. It’s because I like you, they say.</p><p>But that’s only part of the reason.</p><p>My heart beats fast and it gets hard to breathe and I get dizzy. It’s because I like you, but also because I am terrified.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alive And Terrified

My heart beats fast and it gets hard to breathe when I talk to you. It’s because I like you, they say.

But that’s only part of the reason.

My heart beats fast and it gets hard to breathe and I get dizzy. It’s because I like you, but also because I am terrified.

I am terrified that you might find out, that you may never find out. I am terrified that you don’t like me back, terrified that you do.

I am terrified of a future that I could have with you, because I was taught that nothing is ever perfect, and I fear that you are and therefore will be gone before I can blink. I’m terrified because you make me feel.

You make me feel like there is hope and good and beautiful things. You make me smile and laugh and blush and want.

I am terrified because logic and feelings are somehow agreeing and arguing at the same time. I am terrified that I love you.

I am terrified.

I am terrified and when I talk to you I smile until it hurts and cry because I may just be that person.

I could be the person who kisses your cheek every morning.

I could be the person who you smile at, who makes you laugh.

Or it could be someone else.

When I talk to you, my heart beats fast and I can’t breathe and I am terrified, but I feel so alive.

Even when something snaps, and suddenly I feel like I have no hope of ever being that person. Even when I curl up and cry and pray for everything and nothing, I feel alive.

And it hurts, and sometimes I curse it, but then I think of all the times when I’ve had nothing. When I’ve felt dead, and I wonder if you aren’t a blessing.

My heart beats fast and I can’t quite breath properly. My cheeks are flushed and I’m smiling. My head is dizzy but I am giddy.

I am terrified.

But I don’t think I’d change it.


End file.
